If you’re still following around men who do nothing for you and crying over little silly ashy fuckboys, you need to do better sis. This year, we need to do us! We need to put ourselves first. Not just this year really, but always. There is relationship advice that has always been there, we have heard it, from our moms, aunties, siblings, friends, magazines, name it…but, sometimes we ignore or think it doesn't really apply to us. I say it’s time we started following this important albeit cliché relationship advice.
1. Leave him the first time he hits or disrespects you.
Stop making excuses for him, stop making excuses at all. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks; men don’t change.
2. Women are not a rehabilitation center for badly raised men.
You deserve so much better than a man child or an asshole of a man. You need someone who fully 'fucks' with you. Someone who will reciprocate all the love you give him. Someone who will hold you down forever.
3. Never settle.
As hard as it is to believe, the man you’re looking for exists. Yes, even that tall, handsome rich man with great dick game is out there somewhere. If you’re worried about your biological clock and all those other societal pressures, then go ahead and marry anything with a penis between the legs. Do you. But, if you’d rather wake up to the man of your dreams every day of your life, then, sis, don’t settle till you find him.
4. Focus on your career first, before you settle down.
Have your money. Get your ducks in a row. Be financially independent. Sometimes, when you depend on a man’s man, you end up being like his pet – he has the say in everything you do. Don’t be the kind of a lady who doesn’t even have ‘pesa ya salon’.
5. Pay attention to the red flags, way early on in the relationship.
One strike and that’s it. Don’t make excuses.
6. Stop playing wife duties when you’re a girlfriend.
You’ll only make him comfortable. Why should he put a ring on it when you’re already doing everything a wife does without the ring? Of course, once in a while you can clean for him and what not but don’t make it a habit. Let him see what you can bring to the table then, stop. Like, dangling candy in front of a kid.
7. Don’t have sex without protection or before getting tested with your boyfriend. These niggas ain’t loyal sis. Even if he insists…
8. Never settle for mediocre dick.
Life is too short for bad sex.
9. Don’t get into a new relationship with baggage.
Emotional baggage especially. Take your time to heal, live on your own, focus on your own happiness first. If you can be happy on your own, trust me, you will stop falling for every tom dick and harry. You will stop making other people your source of happiness, but rather, start looking for someone who adds value into your life.
10. Love will NOT pay the bills.
Broke ass men who can’t do anything for you are being left hukoooooooooooo…
11. Do not keep a man. It reeks desperation...
12. Do not let a man move into your house.
One of the biggest mistakes you can ever make to be honest…your space is your own haven let him hustle like other other men.
13. Most importantly, focus on your own happiness.
Life is too short. If you’re not happy, leave! It may seem hard to start over, especially if there are kids involved but you’re better off happy on your own than miserable with a man. Seriously…think about it!