Our African culture dictates that men should always make the first move when it comes to expressing our feelings. And even though things are changing and some women are no longer afraid of approaching a guy, there are those who still feel like it’s a bit awkward to do so.
So, should a girl make the first move if she likes a guy? Relationship therapist, Grace Kariuki tells Pulse Live that there is nothing to be ashamed about approaching a guy. If you like him, then go on and make the move.
Advice from relationships expert
“Some men are very shy and will take time trying to gather the courage to ask a woman out. If you are a woman and recognize that the man likes you and is not saying anything, you can make the first move and see what happens. If the guy is shy, once you break the ice, they will then take over the lead.” She tells us.
Also, if you are interested in a guy and you would like to know if he feels the same for you, you can make the first move. Grace advises that you can actually ask a guy out for coffee to try and see if the feelings could be mutual.
Don't force a relationship
Once you have let the guy know that you are interested, you can then leave them to think it through. If he is interested, then well and good. But if he is not, you shouldn’t force it.
“Don't act desperate after he clearly indicates he is not interested. Move on and leave them alone. If he clearly "friend-zones" you, please let him go. Go through your disappointment and adjust to the fact that he is not into you. Please avoid begging or trying to prove or make yourself relevant. At least now there will be no more guess games. You will know that there is no chance there.” Grace advises.
Give the guy a chance to chase you
All the same, a woman who makes the first move must also be very careful not turn out as desperate and to also make sure that she has something that will keep the guy interested in her. So, once you make the first move and show interest, you should now leave it for the guy to take over. Men love “chasing” women and you should, therefore, avoid giving yourself away to them fully.
“You making the first move is only supposed to break the ice and give him a chance to seek you out. Let him now show interest. Let him seek to know you. Do not give him sex at all or go to his house to cook and clean for him or do sleepovers at his house or your house. Please allow the natural progression of the growth of a relationship to take place” this therapist affirms.