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10 simple ways to deal with an angry partner

In this article, we'll explore ten simple and effective strategies to help you navigate and defuse moments of anger in your relationship, fostering understanding and harmony.

A couple arguing

Finding oneself in a relationship where anger seems to be the prevailing emotion can be both distressing and disorienting.

It's essential, firstly, to recognise that you're not alone in facing this challenge and, secondly, that it's crucial to approach the situation with understanding, patience, and self-preservation in mind.

Here are steps to help you deal with a partner with anger issues.


If your partner's anger ever escalates to threats or physical violence, prioritise your safety.

Reach out to local helplines, shelters, or trusted friends and family. Remember, violence is never a solution.

Choose a good time when both of you are relaxed. Use 'I' statements to express how you feel, like, "I feel hurt when you raise your voice," rather than "You always shout at me." This minimises blame and promotes understanding.


Often, persistent anger masks deeper issues like stress, trauma, insecurity, or other emotional wounds.

It could be job-related stress, unresolved personal trauma, or even health issues like depression.


Clearly communicate what behaviors you find unacceptable. For instance, if shouting triggers anxiety for you, let your partner know. Boundaries protect your emotional well-being.

Therapy or counseling can offer valuable tools to understand and manage anger. In Kenya, initiatives like Mindful Kenya provide accessible mental health support.

This provides a neutral space for both partners to communicate feelings and learn strategies to strengthen the relationship.


Engage in activities that promote your well-being, like reading, meditating, or taking nature walks. It's crucial to maintain your mental and emotional health.


Talking to trusted friends, family, or joining support groups can offer perspectives, advice, and the comfort of shared experiences.

If, despite your efforts, the anger persists or escalates, it might be time to assess the relationship's health. Remember, your well-being and happiness are paramount.

Even if your partner declines therapy, consider it for yourself. It can provide coping strategies, insights, and an understanding of the dynamics at play.


While anger is a natural emotion, its persistent presence in a relationship warrants attention.

Approach the situation with compassion but ensure you prioritise your safety and well-being. And always remember, it's okay to seek help, both within your circle and from professionals.

Editor's Note: Mindful Kenya offers mental health services on short USSD code *702*30#. By following the prompts a person seeking professional mental healthcare is linked with a specialist under guarantee of anonymity.


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