Setting boundaries, self-care & 8 simple ways to deal with an angry partner

It's essential, firstly, to recognise that you're not alone in facing this challenge and, secondly, that it's crucial to approach the situation with understanding, patience, and self-preservation in mind.

Here are steps to help you deal with a partner with anger issues.

An angry couple Pulse Live Kenya

1. Seek safety first

If your partner's anger ever escalates to threats or physical violence, prioritise your safety.

Reach out to local helplines, shelters, or trusted friends and family. Remember, violence is never a solution.

2. Initiate a calm conversation

Choose a good time when both of you are relaxed. Use 'I' statements to express how you feel, like, "I feel hurt when you raise your voice," rather than "You always shout at me." This minimises blame and promotes understanding.

3. Understand the underlying issues

Often, persistent anger masks deeper issues like stress, trauma, insecurity, or other emotional wounds.

Couple talking (Credit - Ranchatdovetree) Cheating really does not have to be the end of a relationship (Credit - Celebzmagazine) Pulse Live Kenya

It could be job-related stress, unresolved personal trauma, or even health issues like depression.

4. Set boundaries

Clearly communicate what behaviors you find unacceptable. For instance, if shouting triggers anxiety for you, let your partner know. Boundaries protect your emotional well-being.

5. Suggest professional help

Therapy or counseling can offer valuable tools to understand and manage anger. In Kenya, initiatives like Mindful Kenya provide accessible mental health support.

6. Attend couples counselling

This provides a neutral space for both partners to communicate feelings and learn strategies to strengthen the relationship.

A couple attending a counselling session Pulse Live Kenya

READ: How to handle relationship conflicts without losing your partner

7. Focus on self-care

Engage in activities that promote your well-being, like reading, meditating, or taking nature walks. It's crucial to maintain your mental and emotional health.

8. Connect with supportive networks

Talking to trusted friends, family, or joining support groups can offer perspectives, advice, and the comfort of shared experiences.

9. Evaluate the relationship

If, despite your efforts, the anger persists or escalates, it might be time to assess the relationship's health. Remember, your well-being and happiness are paramount.

10. Seek personal counselling

Even if your partner declines therapy, consider it for yourself. It can provide coping strategies, insights, and an understanding of the dynamics at play.

Seeking counselling Pulse Live Kenya

While anger is a natural emotion, its persistent presence in a relationship warrants attention.

Approach the situation with compassion but ensure you prioritise your safety and well-being. And always remember, it's okay to seek help, both within your circle and from professionals.

Editor's Note: Mindful Kenya offers mental health services on short USSD code *702*30#. By following the prompts a person seeking professional mental healthcare is linked with a specialist under guarantee of anonymity.

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