Why won’t my ex just stop texting me?

With phone calls, texts and social media being readily-available tools for monitoring and staying in touch, it has never been easier for exes to keep tabs on partners that are meant to be in their past, partners they should be moving on from, rather than looking back upon.

How and why your relationship ended would often play a role in an ex’ decision to regularly reach out after a relationship had ended. If your ex was the one who initiated the breakup in the first place but then decides to start texting you again out of the blue, it can be baffling.

But according to Psychologist, Samantha Rodman; “the likeliest possibility is that they are reflecting about the relationship and are missing you.

“Most of the time this would be for romantic or sexual reasons, but sometimes they might just want to be friends again.”

Rodman adds that if the relationship ended on bad terms or your ex feels the breakup was their fault, they may be texting you out of guilt and a desire to make things right.

If the relationship ended because you called time on it, then your ex may be reaching out in order to get a long-awaited closure. This happens a lot and could be helpful if both partners are really up for it. However, there’s no need to force the point if one partner shows a reluctance to make this happen.

Therapist, Anna Poss, says that “If they felt the split was abrupt, confusing or left them with unresolved feelings, an ex might reach out to gain clarity.”

She then adds that an ex reaching out could also be a way of trying to get back, desiring a second chance.

“Resuming communication could also be a way of testing the waters. Whether they are hoping to get back together or develop a friendship, texting is a low-risk way to gauge your interest,” she says.

If you’re not sure what your ex’s intentions are in resuming contact (and you actually care to know), Poss said not to waste time analyzing all the possibilities in your head — just ask.

“We can’t read minds and any assumptions could create more stress and conflict,” she said. “You can say something along the lines of, ‘We haven’t spoken in a while and I was surprised to hear from you, so I wanted to check in.’”

That helps you find out what their intent is, and whether you want to entertain that interest or block them for good in order to find complete healing and move on.