Lessons from my divorce: Philip Karanja reflects on life after divorce, healing & growth

Renowned filmmaker and director Philip ‘Phil Director’ Karanja has opened up about the emotional journey of his divorce from actress Catherine ‘Kate Actress’ Karanja after six years of marriage.

Speaking on the CTA podcast with Richard Njau, Philip shared his insights on overcoming grief, taking responsibility, and rebuilding oneself after a relationship ends.

Philip revealed the initial challenges that come with the end of a marriage, highlighting the natural tendency to blame one’s partner. He explained that this phase of grief is often unavoidable but can be navigated constructively with the right support.

When it happens, the first thing that we do as all human beings is blame your partner, the person you are divorcing.

The filmmaker credited therapy and meaningful conversations as pivotal in helping him move past resentment. These tools allowed him to shift from pointing fingers to introspection.

If you go through divorce the right way – which means going through therapy, having the right conversations – you quickly move from blaming your partner and then taking the seat. You call yourself out, like: I failed in this and this.

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Through this process, Philip found himself asking tough questions:

What did I do wrong? Where did I fall short? Why did I miss this and this? What should I have worked on or improved about myself?

Philip cautioned against dwelling on bitterness, drawing on his experiences and conversations with others who have been divorced. He emphasised the importance of taking ownership of one’s actions to avoid prolonged anger and resentment.

I spoke to people who had been divorced for like five years, but the guy is still so bitter and angry. I remember telling myself, no – five years later, I don’t want to be angry and this bitter at my ex-wife.

Instead of channelling his anger towards his former partner, Philip focused on rebuilding his life.

I realised, yooh Philip, you effed up here and here and here. Now start again, start rebuilding yourself.

READ: Phil beams maturity as he discusses parenting Leon & Njeri after split from Kate

Since his divorce, Phil is yet to talk about re-marriage and has been focused on his career and children.