Sex is supposed to be a nice intimate moment between two people. (Well, most of the times)
However, even when love is involved, it’s not always that the sex is mind blowing. Many things could be hindering you from having a good time with your partner, even something like watching too much pornography or even something like birth control that can affect your libido. Without blabbering on, we will comb through some of the possible reasons as to why you are not enjoying sex.
1. You’re too self-conscious about your body.
Your stretch marks, cellulite, your tummy, body hair, birth marks, your wig…all these things, to be honest, men don’t even worry much about them. When it’s time for coitus, they’re too horny to even look at your cellulite. The more you're self-conscious about something, the more people notice it. There’s something so sexy about a confident woman. Love yourself and your body and be confident in it. Even if you have an ugly birth mark, like Tyra Banks always says, flaunt your ugly. Own that birthmark.
2. You are not relaxed.
You may fail to be relaxed because of point number one and if you’re not relaxed, you will not enjoy sex in fact, you will not even achieve an orgasm.
3. And speaking of orgasms, another reason why you may not be enjoying sex is because that’s your main goal and you’re frustrated that you cannot reach one.
Not all women can reach an orgasm and even for those who can, they do not climax all the time. Sometimes, you just want to enjoy foreplay with your partner or a quickie or even just good sex, without worrying about the orgasm. If you’re doing the right thing and hitting the right spots, it will come. You don't have to worry about trying to do things you saw while watching porn or things you read about. Instead, do them while on your own and see how your body reacts to different forms of pleasure. Knowing your body first, will help you work towards reaching your first big O.
4. You do not know what you want in bed.
Well, you might be an amateur and unaware of what sexual pleasure is or even what needs to be done.
5. You might also not be telling your man what you want and how you want him to do it.
If the foreplay sucks, communicate. Tell him in a gentle way, direct him. Show him where to touch, lick and teach him how to pleasure you. If you keep withstanding bad sex, you will be stuck with a man who can't give it to you right for a long time. You need to speak about what you want and how you want it. There’s nothing wrong with that.
6. He has no idea what he’s doing.
Again, he might just be an amateur and really bad at laying the pipe. In such a situation, just to do what’s best for you and either tell the guy, if you really love him or take the initiative and come up with ways you can help him improve, like suggesting different sex positions or even watching porn together.
7. You may not be enjoying because it’s painful.
If your vagina is dry, say from too much douching or even a yeast infection, you may not enjoy sex as it will be painful. If the man is also too well endowed down there, sex could also be a painful experience for you especially in some positions.
8. You have been through sexual abuse.
Victims of sexual abuse often find it hard to enjoy sex because it brings back flashbacks and can be a traumatizing experience.
9. You need an emotional connection to enjoy sex.
There are people who have to have a physical and emotional connection with someone to have sex. It’s understandable. You don’t just want to exchange body fluids with someone you feel zero for and if that’s the case, then it’s common to not enjoy sex.
10. You have a low libido.
Due to factors such as stress, medication and such. The good news with this is that you can at least eat some foods that boost your libido or even experiment with sex toys and such.