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Some say you wait until marriage, others believe you should just let things flow naturally.
While this is still something debatable, an expert, Mathew Boggs recently shared his advice with women on what he believes should happen.
According to Boggs, although his answer is a controversial one, it has helped hundreds of women. Mathew cites that there are two things that determine when you have sex with a man; the sexual pace and the emotional pace.
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Couple flirting(iStock)
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“The sexual pace is determined by how physical you are getting with one another. Starting with a hug, or holding hands, moving to a kiss, to getting more physical and ultimately having sex” notes Mathew Boggs.
What determines when to have sex with a man
On the other hand, the emotional pace is about how your relationship grows from being acquaintances to being something more than just friends. The emotional pace according to Mathew is usually set by the level of commitment to the relationship.
The emotional pace determines the purpose of the relationship. Whether the relationship is something that will lead to marriage or mere play is also determined by the emotional aspect of the relationship.
Emotional pace should be at the front
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Couple kissing
When it comes to having sex, Mathew advises that one should never let the sexual pace precede the emotional pace.
“Most people will end up becoming awkward when the sexual pace is way at the front. In other words, you sleep with each other before you know whether or not you like each other. It can throw the relationship off balance. Many of us have had an experience where you get physical too soon and everybody gets awkward and it gets weird” Mathew says.
While most women get emotionally attached to a man after having sex, Mathew notes that it’s not so for men. For men, the sexual pace and emotional pace are completely independent. That’s why it’s very easy for a man to have sex with you without feeling emotionally attached.
Men don’t fall in love through sex
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Romance(DESTINY Magazine)
If you want to be married or be in a committed relationship, Mathew advises that then, you should let the emotional pace determine when it’s best to have sex. This means only having sex with the man when you feel completely ready for it.
“Men do not fall in love by first having sex with you...and don’t buy into the fear that if you don’t have sex with him early on, he is going to run off. Because it is true that the right man will wait until you are ready” he advises.
In short, the secret is to wait until the relationship gets to that emotional level where you feel you are ready to be in a committed relationship and have sex with him.
As the woman, Mathew advises that you should lead the sexual pace while the man leads the emotional pace. This way, you will be in a position to make it happen once the relationship gets to the emotional level that you want.