You deeply feel this person and all you think of when you go to sleep is them. You see them as part of your future. You see yourself traveling to the most beautiful places in the world and taking selfies. They are smart, funny, and they come in the package that you have always dreamed of. You imagine how lovely your babies with this person will be. How you will be flooding the internet with photos captioned #Couplegoals, #Familylove, and the likes. But, but, as harsh as it may be, we do not always get the things we want in life. It’s just how life is.
How to get past the pain of unrequited love
It hurts to love and not be loved back
The people we love so deeply will not always love us back. Ouch! It hurts. It hurts to love so hard while the other person doesn’t feel the same. Unrequited love. As much as you would love this person to love you back, you shouldn’t force it. You can never force love, can you?
What to do when you love someone but they don’t love you
If someone doesn’t reciprocate the love, the best thing you can do is walk away.
“Once you realize the other person is not available or interested, decide to walk away. It will communicate self-respect and keep your dignity intact. Do not beg or act in desperation, it hurts you and is in bad taste” relationship therapist Grace Kariuki tells Pulse Live.
“Go to a private space and cry or sort through you your emotions. Respect the other person's feelings. They have a good reason why they are not able to reciprocate the love you feel for them.” Grace continues.
Dealing with unrequited love
At that moment, you will feel hurt and rejected and this expert tells us that it’s completely normal. The important thing is to give yourself time to deal with the heavy emotions you are experiencing.
To get past the pain of unrequited love, Grace advises that you should get busy and avoid isolating yourself.
“Get yourself into doing something that will add value to your life. Use the emotional charge to engage your creativity. Join a class and learn a new skill. Do something for yourself that will add value to you. Also, reconnect with your friends. Staying alone will only increase those feelings of loss and ruminating behaviors,” advises the expert.
If you are always falling for people who do not return the love, Grace Kariuki advises that you should see a therapist to avoid a repeat of the cycle.
What to avoid when dealing with the pain of unrequited love
“Avoid personalizing the rejection. Reject the thought that there's something wrong with you and that's why they rejected you. This could be very far from the truth! Avoid questioning your worth. Many people go through the same, overcome it, and even go on to getting married and living happily.” The expert recommends.
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