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What Kanze Dena's son wishes he had from sister & why his mum keeps her memory alive

Kanze Dena lost her first-born child at just three months, something that sent her into depression

Kanze Dena and her son Amani
  • Kanze Dena shared her experience of losing her first-born child and the impact it had on her parenting
  • Her son Amani is aware of his late sister and they have open conversations about it
  • Dena emphasized the role of Amani's father in co-parenting and supporting her in raising a boy

Kanze Dena, former State House Spokesperson, shared an intimate glimpse into her parenting journey and the profound impact of losing her first child.

In an interview with Parents Magazine, Dena candidly discussed how the tragedy of her daughter's death 24 years ago has shaped her approach to motherhood, particularly in raising her two sons.

Reflecting on her loss, Dena revealed that her son Amani, who turned 18 in April, is well aware of his elder sister.

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She mentioned that Amani often expresses that he would have enjoyed the protection of his elder sister.

"My son Amani knows he had a sister, and we talk about it. He knows he is not the first-born, even when you ask he will tell you he knows he is not the first-born," Dena reiterated, highlighting the depth of their conversations.

This openness has not only helped Amani understand his family's history but has also provided Dena with a unique way to cope with her grief.

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"It also helped me with my grieving. We talk, and sometimes he would tell me ['I keep wondering if my big sister would be here, you know you would not be harsh, the way you are harsh to me right now']," she added.

Parenting boys, Dena admits, comes with its unique challenges. She noted that Amani sometimes hides things from her, but the presence of his father has been invaluable.

"Parenting boys has also not been easy, especially for Amani. Thankfully, Amani's father has always been present and has come in handy in co-parenting," she said.

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Dena emphasised the importance of having positive male role models for single mothers raising boys.

"It is important even for single mothers to understand, even when the father is not present, to identify a male figure that can walk that journey that you can't walk with your child," she advised.

This insight underscores her belief in the crucial role of male influences in a boy’s life, a lesson she has embraced in her parenting.

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Beyond the trials and triumphs of motherhood, Dena has found joy and fulfilment in her retirement.

She remarked that stepping away from the limelight has allowed her to enjoy life more freely.

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"Aside from parenting, I am enjoying retirement. My time off the limelight has also seen me enjoy myself more," she noted.

During former President Uhuru Kenyatta's administration, Dena served as State House Spokesperson between 2018 and 2022.

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Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or:

Email: news@pulselive.co.ke

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