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Media personality Willis Raburu recently shared his deeply personal experiences, revealing how his relationship with God and the church was tested during some of the most challenging times in his life.
In an interview on Ofweneke's 'Lessons @30' YouTube segment, Willis spoke about the pain he endured following the loss of his daughter and the subsequent divorce from his ex-wife, Marya Prude.
Church model that hurt Willis Raburu
Willis Raburu was once deeply involved in the church, often sharing photos and videos from his time at Jubilee Christian Church (JCC).
READ: How Jeff Koinange saved Willis Raburu's career after boss said he'd never be on TV
However, he explained that after going through a divorce, he felt hurt by the church’s model, particularly the strict interpretation of the belief that 'God hates divorce'.
He expressed his frustration, saying, "I don’t think the church as JCC hurt me, but the model—the contract that says God hates divorce—definitely did. People hang on to that without understanding the context. At that time, Jews were abandoning their wives without any support. That’s the context of that statement."
Willis further explained the emotional turmoil he experienced during this time. "If you’ve been in front of the church, raising your hands, sitting behind the pastor, and then you go through a divorce, the church will look at you differently. It’s as if you can’t do this anymore because they’ve accepted you as someone in a relationship, and that’s what they stand for," he added.
Lowest point in Willis Raburu's life
Willis Raburu also spoke about the most painful moment in his life—the day he lost his daughter, Adana.
On December 31, 2019, Willis and his then-wife Marya were at the hospital, expecting the arrival of their baby. However, their joy quickly turned to sorrow when their daughter was pronounced dead at birth.
"The lowest moment in my life was the day I found out my baby girl wouldn’t make it. My daughter died. I don’t think there’s any pain that can compare to that. It was a very dark time," Willis recalled.
He described the heartbreaking experience of holding his daughter for the first time, only to realise that she wasn’t breathing. "I was at the hospital... They induced labor, and Marya pushed. Out comes my daughter, and I’m holding her in my hands, but there’s nothing—no cry, just nothing," he said, his voice filled with emotion.
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Willis Raburu's relationship with God
The loss of his daughter left Willis questioning his faith. He shared how, at that moment, he felt utterly alone, even though he was surrounded by medical staff and his wife.
The pain was so overwhelming that he questioned the very existence of God.
"I remember when I went back to get the bag and I sat down on one of the benches there and told God, 'Okay God, you win. I don’t believe you exist. I don’t believe a just God would do such a thing.' We took a break for a while, God and I. But now, we’re fine," he admitted.
Willis Raburu's divorce
Shortly after the loss of his daughter, Willis and Marya went through a divorce. The grief from losing his child, combined with the end of his marriage, pushed Willis into a deep depression.
He revealed that he contemplated suicide as a way to reunite with his daughter.
"I contemplated suicide and all that because every time I thought about my daughter, I was like, ‘So if she’s on the other side, the only way to be with her is to join her.’ I went through moments when my therapist had to call my office. That’s when people started checking up on me," Willis explained.
Through his struggles, Willis realized the importance of having a strong support system. He emphasised the need for friends who can accept you in all your states—whether you’re happy, sad, or angry. These are the people who know your darkest secrets but still stand by you.
Editor's Note: Help is available, your life is valuable and you are not alone. Should you or a loved one be struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to:
- Befrienders Kenya suicide prevention hotline +254 722 178 177
- Niskize suicide prevention helpline 0900 620 800 or +254 718 227 440.
- Mindful Kenya Therapy on USSD code *702*30#