The art of asking for a raise without losing your cool

Money conversations are never easy, especially when you’re sitting across from your boss, trying to justify why you deserve more.

Yet, asking for a raise is one of the most important career skills you can develop.

It’s not just about getting extra cash, it’s about recognising your value, communicating it effectively, and doing so without burning bridges.

The key is to strike the perfect balance between confidence and composure, because, in the workplace, how you ask often matters as much as what you ask for.

LEARN: Pulse Soft Skills Zoom Training Kenya (November 7th)

 Know your worth before you ask

Before booking a meeting, you need to arm yourself with facts. How much are others in your position earning?

What’s the market rate for your role in your industry and location? Salary transparency sites or local HR reports can help you benchmark your earnings.

You should also take a hard look at your own performance. What have you achieved since your last salary review?

Did you take on more responsibilities, lead a successful project, or help increase revenue? The more tangible your contributions, the stronger your case.

READ ALSO: Hidden job market: How to find jobs before they’re advertised                           

Timing is everything

Even the best-prepared case can fall flat if you choose the wrong moment. Timing can make or break your request. Avoid asking during stressful company periods, budget cuts, or just after a team failure.

The best times? Right after a major achievement, during your performance review, or when you’ve successfully completed a project that directly impacted business results.

If your company has an annual salary review cycle, plan ahead. You want to be part of that conversation before decisions are made, not after.                

 Prepare for the conversation

Once you’ve done your research and chosen your moment, it’s time to prepare how you’ll deliver your request.

Write down your key points, your achievements, data comparisons, and specific reasons why a raise is justified.

Avoid rambling or sounding defensive. Keep your tone professional and focused. You’re not demanding; you’re discussing.

For instance, instead of saying, “I deserve a raise because I’ve been here for years,” try:

“Over the past year, I’ve taken on new responsibilities, improved team performance, and helped streamline our client onboarding. I’d like to discuss how my compensation could reflect these contributions.”
 It’s assertive but respectful, and it keeps the focus on results rather than emotions.

READ ALSO: Networking Kenyan-style: How relationships drive career growth                  

  Stay calm during pushback

Your boss might not immediately agree. They could cite budget constraints, timing issues, or company policy. Don’t panic or take it personally, pushback is part of the process.

Ask for clarity instead. Try saying, “I understand, could we revisit this conversation in three months?” or “What goals should I meet to qualify for a raise?” This shows maturity and gives you a concrete timeline or target to work toward.

Staying calm also sends a message: you’re confident in your worth and not easily rattled. Managers remember that.             

 Negotiate beyond money

Sometimes, the company genuinely can’t offer a raise right away. But that doesn’t mean you should walk away empty-handed.

Consider negotiating other forms of value, flexible work arrangements, additional leave days, a title change, professional development funding, or even performance-based bonuses.

These benefits can add long-term value to your career and well-being. Plus, they show that you’re thinking about growth, not just money.        

Follow up professionally

After the conversation, send a brief email thanking your manager for their time and summarising what was discussed. This creates a paper trail and keeps the discussion fresh in their mind.

If they’ve asked you to achieve certain goals before reconsidering, note them down and follow up at the agreed time. Demonstrating accountability reinforces your professionalism and commitment.       

 The confidence mindset

Ultimately, asking for a raise isn’t just about negotiation, it’s about mindset. People who believe in their value communicate differently.

They prepare, they stay calm, and they know that rejection isn’t a reflection of their worth but a temporary obstacle.

So, take ownership of your career story. Whether the answer is yes, no, or “not yet,” you’ll walk away having done something powerful, you stood up for your value.

#FeaturebyTakeControl