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5 types of guys in a girl’s DM

Guys choosing DM texting to make their move is actually quite common.

A woman smiling while looking at her phone [Photo: Courtesy]

A girl’s DM can be likened to archery where many sharpshooters line up to take their shot and only a few hit the bull’s eye.

Wooing can be such a mean and woeful task even as approaching girls can be tantamount to climbing up a hill at times.

Almost all men have at some point fallen for pictures posted by beautiful women on social media and they’ve gone on to muster some courage to send a direct message (DM) in a bid to win her over.

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Some even follow the good doctrines of Master Amerix adherently, including: "Men are the prize," and they lose nothing in trying out their chances with women.

Here are some five types of guys who, like worker bees, keep buzzing around the "honey".

He is armed with an arsenal of pickup lines. He is so good at finessing that he leaves her blushing and smiling sheepishly at her phone’s screen.

The type that ensures she wakes up to, "Are you the sun, because you make my day bright!"

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A girl could easily start falling for this type unbeknownst to her that he uses flirting as a coping mechanism and has no genuine intentions.

He easily passes for a low-budget Kevin Hart, or employee-of-the-month at the meme factory.

His timeline and status are full of hilarious videos and memes and chatting with him is like attending a virtual Churchill Show, leaving your ribs hurting.

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He just finds a way to make her laugh and bit by bit, it becomes a habit to always look forward to lengthening her days by ever messaging him.

He epitomises that Kenyan mannerism where someone knocks at a locked lavatory door only to ask if there’s someone inside.

The "Hi’s" and "Habari yako mrembos" he has sent her could fill up a thirty-two-page exercise book.

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Like the good human she is, when she replies, he pisses her off completely with a "Niambie kitu tamu (Tell me something nice)”.

He doesn’t come out clearly about what he wants and like a job seeker, he forever tarmacs in her DM.

They are so lewd and bawdy in their messages and are so obsessed with asking for nudes.

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They are so quick to send their own that they make her cringe. An attempt at rejecting their advances would automatically subscribe her to a barrage of insults as the rejection won’t sit well with them.

In his profile photo, he is adorned in a Kitenge which he fervently claims he would like to match with someone's daughter soon.

Like a politician, he has a manifesto that he intends to implement once he wins her over like a landslide in an election.

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He is so serious that in no time he starts to call her endearing words, and before she knows it she is cuffed, all thanks to the DM rendezvous.

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