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8 types of people you will find in every Kenyan church

Which type are you?


Some are business places for some people while others are mere houses where ignorant people are manipulated and conned. This, though, is not to say that there are no genuine churches that preach the true gospel.

But wherever you usually fellowship, there must be different types of people; some who can be annoying and others are simply hilarious.

We have outlined some common types of people in Kenyan churches:


1. Ever late

In every church, there is that one person who is ever late. And, even if the sermon is going on, they will push their way up to the front seat not caring about the attention they attract.

2. Late with stilettos

I have nothing against ladies who come to church with their six inch heels. Not at all. But if you are going to be late, please get a pair of shoe that doesn’t announce your late arrival to the whole congregation.


3. Hilarious testimony

When it’s time to say what God has done to you, some people know how to break your ribs with their testimonies. They spice it up and leave everyone in stitches as they get back to their seats.

4. One who chews gum

If you never chewed gum in class, why do it in church? The worst part is that the do it so loud and you can’t help but notice. They can’t even open their mouths to sing because they are busy chewing.


5. Skimpily dressed

In as much as we live in a Kenya where women advocate for ‘my dress my choice’, some outfits are clearly not meant to be won in church.

6. Noisemakers

These are the most annoying ones. You try to listen to what the pastor is saying but they are too noisy making plans of where they will go after church.


7. The stubborn neighbor

This neighbor just won’t let you concentrate on the sermon. They will pinch you from time to time asking who the lady in a red dress is or showing you how a certain guy is missing the steps when the choir is singing.

8. Loves to sing but has no rhythm

They are so passionate about singing but they just can’t get the rhythm right. If it’s dancing, they will be stepping on people’s toes or moving in the opposite direction. Some of them love conducting praise and worship and sadly, they take the whole church off rhythm.


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