5 truths about sex in a long-term relationship

In your teenage, pre-adulthood years when you weren’t getting any or a lot of sex, you would probably have thought about adults and married people and got the impression that they must be getting so much sex, doing it without boundaries and catching orgasm after orgasm on a daily basis.

But of course, as you may have noticed, as you grew older and wiser, sex does not work that way. Even in the honeymoon phase of a relationship/marriage, sex is not that rampant. And it gets even more toned-down than that once the relationship enters into auto-pilot mode.

After a while in relationships, couples get a strong understanding of each other's bodies [Credit Madamenoire] Some women can't initiate sex to save their lives. [Credit Madamenoire] Pulse Nigeria

Especially when it’s been a while since you and your partner have been together, here are things you can expect to experience in your sex life

1. Quantity down, quality up

Sex typically moves from three times in a day to a more reasonable pace and frequency over time. It also becomes less of an awkward experience to something more intimately familiar over time.

In general, you'll have sex less often the longer you're together, which is fine as long as you're both still doing the things that drive your partner crazy—and learning new ones.

The aim is to steadily get the quality up, even if the quantity reduces or not as the relationship progresses. Just make it as lit as you can.

Sometimes, take the lead instead of waiting for your man to initiate sex. [Credit: ThinkstockPhotos] Sometimes, take the lead instead of waiting for your man to initiate sex. [Credit: ThinkstockPhotos] Pulse Nigeria

2. You may need to schedule to get

This is because it is normal for partners to become really busy and get their hands in a whole lot of other stuff that takes sex to the bottom of their priority list.

As long as you’re understanding and not too rigid about it, it’s not a terrible way to go. Honestly. And we have written about all that here.

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3. Absence can create the needed sparks

After a while, sparks will no longer be easy to come by. The newness of the whole thing will no longer be there and creating fireworks will need to become an intentional thing as opposed to how naturally it came at the beginning of the relationship.

So it is necessary to give yourselves a chance to miss each other. Being attached at the hip is not always good for your relationship, as counterintuitive as it seems. Being away on a business trip or on a solo holiday means you will come back bursting with a need for your partner that might have not been there if they were sleeping by you on all the nights they were on that holiday for.

I's not OK to assume that your man is always ready for sex [Credit: Shutterstock] I's not OK to assume that your man is always ready for sex [Credit: Shutterstock] Pulse Nigeria

4. You need adventure!

So it is major key that you actively, compulsively seek it! Without experimentation and trying out new things, monotony sets in and that is not what you want in your sex life even if you are doing it with someone familiar forever.

Move away from vanilla and throw in a dash of chocolate every now and then. Life is too short to no have variety. So say no to boring, one-way-street sex!