Gym sio ya mamako
It’s almost as if Nairobians go to the gym to show off rather than to get their work out on. First of all, leave the damn phone in your gym bag no one cares about your sweaty gym selfie okay? Whether you go to a high-end gym or a bargain-basement one, you need to follow these gym etiquette.
1. Observe proper hygiene.
Seriously, just wear clean work out clothes every time you go the gym. No one wants to work out next to someone that smells like a pile of shit. Always have enough work out clothes so that you’re not having to recycle sweaty stinking clothes. Do yourself and everyone that favor.
2. Do not start singing, clapping, whistling or making lion roars when working out.
Chill out, it’s not a Porn Hub audition, what’s with the lion roars? If you’re not able to lift a heavy weight, leave it and pick what your strength can handle. Noisy people are the reason why people wear earphones to the gym. Some people want peace and quiet while working out. And when you see someone with earphones on, no, don’t bother unless it’s really necessary.
3. And when we are still on weights,
Guys, please, don’t drop them! Same way you lifted them, place them down carefully.
4. Always re-rack the equipment.
There’s nothing as annoying as getting to the gym and finding everything lying all over. Can you just put the equipment where it’s supposed to be?
5. Do not hog equipment.
If you want the equipment to yourself, why don’t you buy your own and work out from home? This is a public gym. The things there are meant to be shared equally so don’t spend all your time on the treadmill for instance, others want to use it. Be considerate on use of equipment.
6. And after use, can we please wipe off the sweat?
Guess what? No one, absolutely no one wants to sit on a sweaty bench or touch sweaty stuff. That’s why you need two towels, one, to wipe after your own sweat!
Ladies, this one is mostly for you. We know you want to show off your derriere and all but please, keep the sheer tights and short shorts at home. You came to work out, not to dance at a Timmy TDat concert.
8. Avoid staring at people.
Even if you see a spankable ass, stop staring. Staring makes people uncomfortable! Tuliza nyege.
9. Stop offering unsolicited advice.
“That’s not how you do it” Err, no one asked you, captain always right, mind your business. Only offer advice when asked to.
10. While at the bathroom, can we please cover up?
Yeah, walking nearly naked is not exactly what anyone is dying to see...plus, nothing is more gross than a disgusting bathroom. Don't pee or spit in there please!
11. Don’t be an asshole.
Give people space to work out, don’t keep passing in front of the mirror or taking selfies or coming too close to someone. And while still on the whole asshole-shebang, do not refill your three-liter water bottle at the water dispense leaving barely any for the rest.
Now, let’s get our work out on like adults, ladies and gentlemen.