Some say the twenties are your best years, others argue that to call them “best years” is too much pressure.
So much has been said about being in your 20s, and not enough about the quarter-life crisis that may last into the early thirties.
However you look at it, they are years filled with so much learning and unlearning.
There’s absolutely no manual to navigating your 20s but there are a couple of experiences we can all relate to.
Some people are born lucky. They meet their soulmates at 19, get married at 21 and have a whole “happily ever after” with their 2 children, a dog and a white picket fence.
Character development in relationships
For the rest of the population, by 25 you have gone through at least one relationship that nearly sent you to the ER. It was so bad you developed PTSD and swore off love even though that lasted three business days.
Nothing humbles you more than a toxic relationship in your 20s. It’s like a pop in your bubble when you learn that another human being could lead you to the psychiatric ward.
On the flip side, you start to understand more about developing boundaries. You learn what your own toxic traits are and how to work through them. If you are open enough, it can be a worthwhile experience.
Loneliness in your 20s
Nobody talks about the loneliness there is in your mid to late 20s. It’s a feeling of being surrounded by so many people yet having no one.
You are constantly learning new things about yourself. Your interests are changing by the day.
To top it off, all your friends are caught up in their own dramas and can’t be there for you in the way that you need them to be.
Maintaining friendships as an adult is a real chore, not to mention creating new ones.
Understanding that this isn’t personal and everyone is just on their different journeys will help you extend grace to yourself and your friends.
Uncertainty in your 20s
A clear marker of your 20s is the extreme period of anxiety and uncertainty. When everybody says these are your defining years, it only makes sense to worry about whether you are on track with your life purpose.
You may see other people scaling up the career ladder or running successful businesses and wonder why you seem to be the only one who doesn’t have it together.
I mean, while your friend is on their second job promotion in three years, you are still figuring out whether a cover letter is important for a job application.
This can be a daunting period. Chin up though because nobody has it all figured out. I promise you, everyone is just winging it.
Every cloud does have a silver lining
Despite your 20s feeling like a train wreck, you pick up valuable lessons. You start to accept all of you, flaws and all.
You start to appreciate yourself more and develop patience with yourself.
Your relationship with your parents significantly improves as you begin to understand that they are just as human and don’t always have it together.
You may also make better financial decisions as your mind gets opened up to savings and investments.
To sum it up there is no one-size-fits-all way of walking through your 20s. Enjoy the madness and remember you can still do it in your 30s, 40s, 50s. Age is just a social construct.