Ladies, here are 9 red flags to look out for on a first date

He asks the waiter to split the bill

First date red flags to look out for (Courtesy)

Girls, we need to talk about first date red flags. I don’t know about you but I have certainly been on enough dates to know if someone is worth seeing again or not, based on how they behave and the kind of impression they leave. There’s really no need to waste time with someone who just doesn’t fit the bill. There’s a list of red flags that you should always look out for on the first date to tell you what kind of a person you’re dealing with. Sure, people are different and some for instance, do not mind something like a guy asking to split the bill but to be quite honest with you, it’s a complete turn off for me. It’s a first date for Pete’s sake! If 1,000 shillings is too much of a bill for you to ask the waiter to split and bring separate bills, then maybe you’re better off keeping yourself busy making more money than asking people’s daughters out on dates that you cannot afford. That’s just a tip of the iceberg. Ladies, drop him like a hot potato if you spot these red flags on the first date:

1. He asks you out for a date but then spends the evening looking at the TV if there’s a football match for instance.

If he cannot even pay attention to you on the first date, what makes you think he will change? If he cannot give you his undivided attention on the one day he’s meant to get to know you better, it’s probably only going to get worse. I cannot stand talking to someone who is not listening or paying attention to me.

2. Another first date red flag to look out for is someone who cannot stop talking about themselves.

That’s a sign of someone who is either really vain and narcissistic or has really poor communication skills. The whole point of the first date is to get to know each other better. The conversation is not supposed to be one-sided.

3. He’s rude to everyone else but you.

That’s just a nasty prick putting on a façade to impress you. Run!

4. He gives you backhanded compliments.

Like, it’s an insult disguised in a compliment. “Your hair is really nice but I don’t think it suits the shape of your head.” Who is he to tell you how you should look? If he doesn’t like what he sees, he’s free to leave dammit!

5. He brings up his ex.

Even if the topic comes up in the course of the evening, always find a way to evade it or quickly maneuver through it and change the topic. Spending a significant amount of time talking about one’s ex means that person is still hung up on their ex and they’re not ready to move on. 

6. He cannot take different opinions positively.

Imagine a situation whereby you get into a debate over a certain topic, because it really does happen during a first date, and this person can’t take a different opinion positively. He gets mad and makes it a big deal. Most likely, you will never be able to communicate and resolve issues amicably so, might as well let that one go.

7. He complains a lot.

For some reason, nothing seems to impress this person. He complains to the waiter that the food is bad, keeps making demands and acts like a total man-child, wallowing the whole time. Attention seeker much? Unless you have time to baby sit a needy man, you should run! Plus, who needs all that negative energy around them anyway?

8. He tells you he loves you on day one.

Most Nigerian men are really good at this. Excuse me abi, how do you love me on the first day of meeting me? C’mon! It’s even laughable. A man like that is either trying to get into your pants or has really low self-esteem. A real man will chase you because he knows there’s so much thrill in pursuing what he wants instead of begging to be loved back, which is tragic.

9. He makes insensitive comments.

“That’s a faggot.” “I hate so and so tribe.” I mean, in this day and age, I don’t think anyone should condone tribalism, homophobia, etc. Sure, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but keep it to yourself instead of trying to shove it up everyone’s ass.


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