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These are some ways to tell if it's love or just infatuation

In interpreting the emotions that relationships bring, it's easy to get caught up in the question: Is it love, or is it just infatuation?

Couple taking a selfie [Image credit: PNW Production]

Understanding the difference can save you from potential heartache and lead you toward more fulfilling connections. Let's break it down, Pulse style.

Depth vs. surface

Love is like the ocean: deep, vast, and enduring. It's built on understanding, acceptance, and a mutual willingness to grow together.

Infatuation, on the other hand, is like a puddle after a rainstorm: shallow and short-lived. It's often based on idealization and physical attraction, without the depth of knowing the real person beneath the surface.


Time tells all

Love stands the test of time. It grows stronger and more profound with each passing day, through the good times and the bad.

Infatuation is the sprinter in a marathon; it starts strong but quickly runs out of steam, fading away when reality sets in or when another distraction comes along.

Selflessness vs. selfishness

Love is selfless. It's about putting the other person's needs and happiness at par with, or sometimes even before, your own.


Infatuation can be selfish, driven by the desire to fulfill your own needs and fantasies, without much consideration for the other person's feelings or well-being.

Flaws and all

When you love someone, you accept their flaws and love them even more for them. It's an all-encompassing acceptance of who they are, quirks and all.

Infatuation often glosses over flaws, or worse, fails to acknowledge them until it's too late, leading to disillusionment.

Security and jealousy


Love brings a sense of security and trust. You feel safe, valued, and free to be your true self. Infatuation can breed jealousy and insecurity, stemming from the fear of losing the object of your desire to someone else.

Shared goals and dreams

Love aligns with shared goals, dreams, and values. It's about building a future together and supporting each other's individual journeys. Infatuation is more about the present moment, often with little thought for the future.

Understanding whether you're experiencing love or infatuation can clarify your feelings and guide your actions. Love is a journey, not a destination.

It requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to navigate the complexities of the heart. So, take your time, get to know the person, and let your emotions unfold naturally. Here's to finding love that lasts!


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