Many people say I am cold-hearted, what they don’t know is that I have been through so much sh*t that I cannot allow my heart to feel anything anymore for fear that I will once again embark on that painful downward spiral to that dark hole that has caged my mind one too many times.
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He collapsed and died on arrival – Sister narrates painful death of only brother
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The hole I am speaking about is death. I have buried so many loved ones that the sound of soil hitting the coffin immediately sends me back to that dark place. A sound that signals finality.The end of life as we know it.
The end of life as we know it (Courtesy)
Pulse Live Kenya
Death in my family often comes in phases. The first phase took my grandmother and her sisters who passed on after being involved in a grisly road accident along the Nakuru highway. Their bodies were so mangled that we were not allowed to view the bodies. My mother told me that her skull had been crushed so badly it resembled a boiled egg that had been trampled on. The last I saw of my grandmother is when I went to visit her just before I joined campus in 2008, who knew that would be the last?
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The second time I had another brush with death was on July-September 2011, straight after I had cleared campus. This was the most devastating of them all because it took away my little sister right after my graduation. Death really has a nasty sense of humour.
A burial (Courtesy)
Pulse Live Kenya
The third time death visited me again was in 2016 where I lost my brother James to a deadly combination of alcohol and Ketamine which goes for about 500 bob. Horse tranquilizer, Special K, Vitamin K, Kit Kat whatever you decide to call it, drugs are very available in Nairobi if you know the right people.
Ketamine being cooked (Vice)
Pulse Live Kenya
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Though Ketamine is a controlled drug, my brother would get his stealthily from a very popular Asian mall in Nairobi. They say that before he passed on he looked visibly confused, had difficulty speaking and had chest pains. The quick thinking of his friends rushed him to Kenyatta hospital but it was a little too late as he collapsed and died on arrival.
The day James died got to be the worst day of my life because within a period of 5 years I had lost all my siblings.
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Note: The Narrator of the story has requested anonymity
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